Caregiving is the act of caring for the ill or frail.

In most instances, this refers to caring for a loved one at home. However, a volunteer can also provide caregiving to someone who is ill, either through home visits or in a specialized setting such as a nursing home.

With the rising cost of healthcare and hospitalization, and with an increasingly larger aging population, more and more people are turning to caring for their loved ones who are ill or frail at home.

The thought of caring for a loved one at home can be frightening. The task seems so formidable and difficult, perhaps even impossible.

How does one fit in the caring in between all the daily responsibility of running a family, a career and spending time with the children?

However, sometimes there may be no option.

There are many reasons why a loved one may need to be cared for at home. Some of the more common reasons are:

• Chronic debilitating illnesses, such as Alzheimer's disease, severe arthritis, cerebral palsy
• Terminal illnesses, such as cancer or AIDS
• Convalescing from an acute condition, such as a fractured leg

In such instances, prolonged hospital stay is not a solution. Neither is it financially practical. Thus one is left with only one choice - home care.

The good news is caring for a loved one at home need not be a disaster. There are many things one can do to make the entire experience a pleasant one, even a spiritual one.

However, to accomplish this we may need to acquire new skills and knowledge, such as some basic nursing skills. We also need to plan ahead and learn to utilize all resources at hand, including enlisting help from other family members, relatives, neighbours, friends and available community resources.

To make the task of caregivng an even more enriching experience, for both our loved one and ourselves, we should learn to see the act of caregiving as part of our spiritual practice.

 
Some Practical Tips on Caregiving

• Accept the feelings of the person you care for.
• Be prepared to cover the same ground on many occasions.
• Be prepared for large changes in mood and outlook.
• Recognise your own feelings and try to distinguish between those that are helpful and unhelpful.
• Encourage the person you care for to talk about their feelings even if it is hard to respond. Simply listening is offering useful support.
• If you are unable to cope with talking about their feelings perhaps a friend, neighbour, relative or nurse may be appropriate.
• Let the person you care for make the decisions. Try not to rush in and take over.
• Being there is probably more important than doing things.
• Get more information.

 
Understanding the Illness

As you begin to adjust to the news that the person you care for has a terminal illness, there are probably many questions you would like to ask, such as:

• Can you be sure that the illness is terminal?
• What are the options?
• What treatment is available?
• How will the illness develop?
• Will they have much pain?
• Will they need to go into hospital?
• Will they eventually need extra help at home?
• How long have they got to live?

Do not be afraid to ask. Most doctors are compassionate and they understand the stress the family and patient are experiencing when they learned of the terminal illness. In our disbelief, we may sometimes sound incredulous, or may even seem to be accusing the healthcare professionals when all we wanted is to clarify a few points.

Be mindful of this and ask politely. Your doctor and the nurses will appreciate it, and will be more willing to help you with your questions when you asked politely.

 
Asking Professionals for Information

During the course of the illness of our loved one, we may meet a number of healthcare professionals, such as doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, etc. Often, it is difficult to remember all the questions we want to ask when we meet them.

Here are some helpful tips.

• Be as clear as you can about what you want.
• Make a list of the questions you want to ask.
• Let the person know how soon and for how long you think you will need to talk to them.
• Don't be afraid to ask questions, even if they might sound silly.
• Consider if a phone conversation will be as good as an appointment.
• Be prepared to see the other person's point of view.
• Make sure you understand what is being said. Professionals, often without realising, use jargon - so don't be afraid to ask them to explain. If you are not satisfied, or don't understand, ask again and keep asking until you understand.

You may want to know more about the medical treatment, and perhaps even some other forms of treatment. Ask your doctor about them. Learn as much as you can about the various modalities of treatment.

• What is the suggested treatment?
• What is the aim of the treatment? (e.g. is it intended to cure the illness, help the person you care for to live longer or deal with their symptoms).
• What are the benefits of accepting treatment?
• Are there likely to be any side effects?
• Will treatment require a stay in hospital?
• If the treatment is planned on an outpatient basis, how long will each session take and how many will be needed and how do you get there and back?
• Are there any alternatives to the suggested treatment?
• What will happen if the treatment does not take place?